Good News: Leni Robredo Discovers Cure For COVID-19!

Yup, you got that right! Our beloved Vice President Leni Robredo has discovered the cure for COVID-19. All the efforts of everyone at Angat Buhay have succeeded what none of the relief operations of other groups have. Leni herself while working hard to help the victims has discovered a new recipe that can alleviate the COVID-19 in just one serving. It was discovered that on March 29, 2020, that Leni's latest porridge recipe served during the COVID-19 relief operations cured those who were afflicted by the said disease. It's a medical miracle that was verified not just by mobile clinics but also by health experts themselves. It's amazing indeed that Leni has not only solved the water crisis - she also saved the Philippines from COVID-19 with her miraculous porridge.

The astonishment is really there. President Rodrigo R. Duterte has agreed to publicly apologize for anything wrong he has said about Leni. Duterte himself has now signed a new presidential decree that will have Leni's miraculous porridge to be distributed nationwide. However, provisions remain that only those who are infected with COVID-19 can avail of the miraculous porridge. The presidential decree is on schedule starting today on April 1, 2020. Duterte has even officially announced that Leni is now his chosen successor. Duterte says Leni will finish whatever projects will be left unfinished at a rapid pace with high effectiveness.

We should all be ready to yell Pinoy Pride. Leni is about to be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize any time soon. The recipe for her porridge is now being sent to our neighboring countries. President Moon Jae In, Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Long, President Jokoko Widodo, and President Tsai Ing-Wen are all ready to franchise her porridge for their country. Scientists are amazed indeed that Leni herself was able to defy all odds in pharmaceutical science. We can expect to see her in Time Magazine as the next Woman of the Year.

Don't worry if you are scared of policemen and soldiers - there are other alternatives in its distribution to the victims. She is very merciful to our fellow Filipinos. We will also have the distribution of Leni's Miracle Lugaw done by the Magdalo Partylist. Yup, you can trust these guys will do a better job than our current police and military to distribute the relief goods. We will have the presence of our glorious hero (and future vice-president) Antonio Trillanes IV as he and his men will begin distribution of Leni's newest porridge. The starting point will have Magdalo troops assigned to both Manila Peninsula and Oakwood. You can expect the ever-friendly Magdalo troops to hand over free bowls of Leni's miraculous porridge. Soon enough, the implementation will be done nationwide with the help of Magdalo soldiers. President Duterte has officially authorized Magdalo Partylist to assist in the relief operations. Also, Duterte has officially placed Trillanes off the hook. Peace everyone, right?

With this in mind, won't you vote for Leni as president this 2022? After all, Duterte now declares her his chosen successor!