Eight Reasons Why Teleseryes Will NEVER Make It To The First World Foreign Market

If you think teleseryes will make it to the first world foreign market think again. You have to be awfully delusional if you think that teleseryes will be world class. Here are eight reasons why teleseryes will NEVER make it to developed countries. Plus, every decent Pinoy who hate these teleseryes may pass this around to piss off teleserye viewers.

1.) Terrible one-dimensional characters whether it'd be the heroes or the villains 


Characters in teleseryes are very one-dimensional characters. There's the problem of too many stereotypes that keep getting played over and over again. Examples of these leading character stereotypes are the poor hero in love with a rich girl (and yet he's not even worth fighting for because he's a bum) and the rich daughter who must follow her heart even if the poor guy she's in love with is not worth marrying because he's a lazy bum. It's very typical also to see that the rich are flamboyant never mind that lifestyle is not always a good indicator you're rich. For all you know the same person who drives a BMW with his hard-earned money also goes to the marketplace taking a bus or a jeep or is going around places wearing casual clothes.

Should I mention how one-sided antagonists can usually be in this show? Sometimes, they're just there to be evil without a good reason. Sometimes, your antagonists are way too obvious like goons always wear leather jackets or look like goons. One could take a look at how villains usually appear in Chinese, Japanese or Korean TV series. Not all of them look rough. Some of them are pretty well-dressed and their goons wear very fine clothes. Some of them are not predictable and they can be very subtle. Teleserye villains are probably more stupid than Dr. Evil from Austin Powers. At least Dr. Evil belongs to comedy while these teleserye villains are supposed to be taken seriously.

2.) Really bad "Pwede Na Yan" acting where being OA is highly encouraged than discouraged


Teleserye acting usually sucks. It always goes with the idea of "basta may artista na pwede na yan" or "as long as there's some actors to do the job that will do." It reminds me how awful the acting is and there's no quest to improve it. Even if the show runs for several episodes we still don't see the acting improve at all. In short, it's all about as long as there are people to do the job that will do. All the mediocre performances can even get worse as the episodes go by.

There's always the problem of forcing ka-OAhan into non-OA people. Who can't forget how Judy Ann Santos-Agoncillo is forced to be OA when she's not OA outside the camera? The more OA you are the better. It reminds me of how often Kris Aquino takes the primetime slot and won over the hearts of people. Is it me or is being OA really encouraged in the Philippines? A lot of bad acting combined with being OA is really not going to do well in developed countries. This also include not speaking at a reasonable volume and being overly dramatic.

3.) Really bad bootleg quality props and special effects


While these water guns aren't bootleg in terms of legal definition but they make the shows bootleg in terms of quality. Bootleg may originally be a term used to describe illegal reproductions but online slang uses it to describe cheap or inferior quality. Whether it would be that bootleg quality not worthy to be a Metal Hero series Zaido: Pulis Pangkagagohan or Palyang Robin Hood you can't deny how stupid it is. Just look at the water gun used as a flame thrower. It looks like a water gun you could buy from a sidewalk vendor than certified and genuine Bandai merchandise or any toy guns you buy from a toy store.


We can understand Super Sentai, Kamen Rider or Metal Hero for having toy-quality weapons but their toys DO NOT look like toys you win from a country fair. They're actually advertising Bandai merchandise you buy from a store like Toy Kingdom and Toys R Us and not some water guns you can buy from a sidewalk vendor. Sure the guns used in Super Sentai don't real real but they're toys worthy of a toy collector's attention and money. The designs of Tokusatsu's weapons are obviously made to advertise high quality toys. They're still collector's quality like Palyang Robin Hood is something you can buy from a sidewalk vendor.

4.) The teleserye action heroes are usually not believable as characters


It's always easy to say that any man of any race is manly but how true is the claim? There's the tendency to make the hero seemingly never hurt by a bullet even when everyone else is hit by it and/or attracting the good girls when they're the useless bad boys. Okay, it's fiction but let's face it that there are still rules that I learned about writing them. Every character needs their flaws to become believable and someone that the audience could relate to.


Real men get hurt, they're not invincible and they're willing to risk it all. These heroes know they're not invincible but they're willing to risk it all or even die in a sacrificial death for the good of everyone. They have their fears but they learn to face it. Being manly is about facing fears and not the absence of it. You can see the hurts of the real heroes, they get injured but they still stand up but they're not overly reckless idiots either. Super Sentai men and women teach us that even they get hurt or even die. That's not the case with teleserye super heroes like Palpakman.

5.) Really bootleg quality action scenes which are comparable to Mister Pogi's martial arts

I don't care how "badass" many of the Penoy action heroes are because of the super poor choreography. These are all comparable to Mister Pogi's martial arts in Dragon Ball Z. The action scenes are really lousy in contrast to what a lot of action scenes from developed countries would produce. A lot of the action scenes from developed countries are well done. Just compare the quality of the Penoy action hero vs. the action heroes from developed countries. 

It's a shame how genuine Pinoy martial artists tend to be disrespected in their own country. Pinoy martial artists like Paolo Montalban (who played the original Kung Lao in the Mortal Kombat Conquest TV series) are better off showing their greatness as Pinoys in non-Pinoy productions huh? I think the love of mediocrity is another good reason why genuinely talented Pinoys usually end up succeeding somewhere else. 

6.) Most female leads are just eye candy that do almost nothing in contrast to gutsy (but well-balanced) female leads


I did mention how eye candy never make those teleseryes any better. I admit that there's a lot of eye candy here and there. A good example with GMA-7's Darna which was done twice: one with Angel Locsin Colmenares and the other with Marian Rivera-Dantes. As much as I find those girls attractive but the shows aren't worth a watch due to bad writing. A bad show will never be saved by all the eye candy. Sorry but Palyang Robin Hood's eye candy won't make me watch that stupid show. Shaina Magdayao's beauty won't convince me to watch The Worse Half either.


Let's do a bit of comparison between teleserye girls vs. the in-trend K-Pop girls. Sure I did mention how I usually like the Taiwanese leading ladies for not being victim card players. I'd just like to put a good example of what makes K-Drama girls more appealing than teleserye girls. Why I consider Suzy Bae to be the better primetime princess than Shaina is simple. Suzy's always getting good roles and she's pretty badass. I even think she's more than enough to beat stupid teleserye girls' asses off. Pinays who hate teleserye girls can also take archery or any form of self-defense lessons from her and enlist in her army. Oh can't wait to see at least one Korean chick make tough-asses of K-Drama loving Pinays to break down teleserye networks!

Oh should I also mention that Super Sentai girls are better than teleserye girls?

7.) Really bad mediocre soundtrack hurts the ears

I admit that some Filipino artists are known to be good at the arts but doesn't mean teleseryes have good arts. As I mentioned earlier truly talented and hardworking Filipinos may have better chances abroad than they do in the Philippines. I really find the soundtrack of teleseryes to be below average. It's a shame really how dedicated Filipino musicians usually end up getting famous anywhere but the Philippines. What a shame to let all the good talent go to waste and only praise them when they hit big abroad. That's the balimbing mentality for you.

Oh you have to be so stupid to believe that this Zaido soundtrack...


is way superior to this...

Only somebody with really bad taste would think the Zaido soundtrack is superior to the real deal of the Space Sheriff Shaider soundtrack. Good thing Toei hasn't allowed GMA-7 to produce another abomination like that. Zaidorks will and will always be a real disaster regardless of what it aims to pass itself as. 

8.) Really bad plot pacing with the tendency to overextend with little or no progress

 
If a show has to be shown DAILY then don't expect quality not to be compromised. Good TV drama usually is shown only once or twice a week or two they don't usually show it daily unless it's a re-airing. The problem of teleseryes is that because they have to be aired every night so there's no room to check for quality. A good example is how Zaido failed both as a TV drama and a Tokusatsu. Some can say it's not a Tokusatsu but it doesn't mean it's not a good TV drama.

Should I also mention the tendency to overextend to the point of absurdity? I remembered how the original Mula Sa Puso had a 500+ episode run and there was no real plot to it. Sure the remake had 98 episodes but it's still got no real plot or real story. The whole problem of overextending a show is what makes a show not worth matching anymore. I'm just reminded why I tend to drop American entertainment because they have the tendency to overextend to the point of obscurity. Please give us fresh content and not just the same story all over again!

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They would never make it to countries that are developed and progressive for those eight reasons. You can also go ahead and accuse me of colonial mentality or being "racist" towards Filipinos (without even pointing out to the specifics) but that nationalism card isn't going to work either. If you want to play "nationalism" then ask yourself if these Penoy teleseryes were filmed without imported equipment.

Besides, I still remembered that stupid proposal to ban Filipinos from bringing home media from abroad. Good thing that stupid proposal was JUNKED. It just shows how teleserye producers are just like the characters they make. They are SORE LOSERS.

Updated: November 4, 2017